Letting you go was my purest form of love. Realizing our patterns, my own toxicity towards you, and how much more you deserve from a lover.
You deserve a love that is undivided and whole. Something I couldn’t be for you. You deserve a love that’ll reach the untold depths of your soul, providing both security and clarity. I was torn. I was confusion.
You felt as if you weren’t enough… even unworthy at times. In truth, you’re beyond worthy, and always have been. I regret creating self-doubt within you, and I pray that another never does. Something that started so casually, grew wings, and went left.
I let you go for you. But for me, I could’ve kept you endlessly, allowing you to pour into me, and pour out your soul over me. But to what avail?
I see you, I always have. And you know me, far more than I care to acknowledge.
To let us die was the worst possible outcome. But, it was the outcome that would give us both peace. You, away from me, and for me, not to engulf you in my own potency.
It’s not because there was no Love. Love remains. But, I’d rather you see the good in me, than the greed. And to hold onto you would be that. I’d rather see you happy with someone ready for you, Love… than to have you stuck pining for mine.
Seeing you would stir a medley of emotions. Emotions that’d probably never be shared. Though, as genuine as they’d be, to express them would be reckless. And I’ve already inflicted enough pain through my own delayed resolutions.
I am eternally grateful for your love, our love. We were our own demise, playing different roles in an inevitable end. I wish you love. I wish you peace. But most of all I wish you happiness.
I know your pain. And even so, I never planned to be a contributing factor. I know your heart, I know you’ve grown, and I know you’ll be okay.
You will remain in my memories as we were, but as we’ll never be again. A delayed resolution, but one that’ll bring us much needed closure. Think of me well, not too often, but sometimes.
Fifth of October 